Forgiveness of Others

Forgiveness of Others

Healing. Healing is one of the critical things we need to do for our soul. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. An angry, heavy soul quickly wears your body out. A healthy soul helps shine light through the darkness.  When I was immersing myself in God’s word, forgiveness was one of the words I really did not like and in all honesty, did not fully understand.

Forgiveness.

I always thought, “Forgive them? Those who inflicted pain upon me? Forgive the males who raped me? Sexually abused me?  Forgive the people who bullied me? The boss who inappropriately touched me? The boss who fired me because I couldn’t hear on the phone?  No way, no way.”

I was even mad at God, my heavenly Father, for the longest time because he had made me Deaf. I was also angry for all the pain He allowed to happen to me. If God really is there for us, why would he let all this happen? (Yes, I know that’s the question almost all of us ask.)

Even when I came upon this verse in Matthew 6:14, “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you,”I thought, “Are you kidding me? Why would I forgive them?  Why would I give them that power?”

I held onto that refusal to forgive for so many years.  My heart was heavily guarded because I didn’t want to get hurt again. My heart was heavy with bitterness and anger.  I wanted them to be remorseful for what they did to me. If I forgave them, that meant they were free while I was still hurting. But in truth, I wasn’t hurting the ones that hurt me.  I was only hurting myself and those closest to me. I carried that heavy baggage from one relationship to another.

In all honestly, it’s not the ones who hurt us holding the power.  It’s us. If we do not forgive, we allow them to hold power over us.  Forgiveness is to release all the power to God.  By doing so, we no longer give others the power or control over us.

I also have learned that once you forgive, it means you don’t hold it against them anymore.  When I thought I had forgiven, I found I was still holding grudges against those who hurt me.  I didn’t have that peace and I was still angry. God nudged me and said, “You forgave them. Don’t remind them of what they did. It is done. Let it go.”

When I turned 50 last year, I knew I had work to do.  I had lived half of my life already and I did not want to live the second half in bitterness. I wanted to be truly happy. I wanted peace. I wanted to experience love, abundant love. And I knew I needed to surrender it all to Him.  Peter asked Jesus how often it was necessary to forgive, and Jesus replied, “Seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22).

Forgive. It is done.

I breathed. I cried. Hard. Uncontrollably. But, it was a beautiful thing. Tears, I believe, are a gift from God to cleanse, heal and allow us to humble ourselves before the Lord. Tears can draw us closer to God during our trials and tribulations and the holy spirit gets us through those times of our lives.

The truth is: God doesn’t wish for bad things to happen to us. Instead, He turns pain into purpose through our stories. I have found that although we never forget the hurt, God uses our pain. This comforts me. It is in our suffering that we often turn to God, where we encounter Him. The greater the pain, the closer God gets. And that has always been His plan all along: to draw us closer to Him amidst our storms.

And that’s why I share my stories — because that’s what God wants me to do.  Through my suffering, I have survived only by the grace of God, and by my steadfast faith and trust in Him. I don’t know where I would be today without God, and I never want to find out.

A verse that really hits home for me is, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 NIV). God is always right there beside you and me, holding our hands, in times of pain.

Friend, as hard as this may be, but every day, we must forgive. Let it go. It’s what our soul needs to become a joyful soul. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.