I am fifty-one. Forty-five years of tears, fear, heartbreak, wondering, asking, begging, praying, and feeling so alone. So much numbness and pain, often at the same time. I tried so hard to step forward but always wondered how. Where was I to go next? I was desperate for healing.
Finally, by the grace of God, I am embracing who I am. As a daughter of Jesus, my Lord and Savior, and as a Deaf person. I have finally made peace with my life. My past. My present. All so that I could be here today — to smile, to take photos of just me, awkward but happy and content, to be with those who are still here, and to be thankful. I am so very grateful.
I dance solo without feeling embarrassed. To twirl. To laugh. To see life as a gift and laughter and praise. These are the greatest lift for my soul. Being brave is not always something you feel. It’s something you do. You do brave things because it’s time to rise up and speak up and let truth find its freedom through your voice, whether spoken or signed. I do brave things because I am a woman who can kneel humbly before my Lord and Savior and rise intentionally.
Colossians 3:13 talks about letting it all go. Jesus Christ’s forgiveness empowers us to let go and forgive in the same spirit and the love that he has.
Surrendering your all is what is in 1 Peter 5:7. Casting all your anxieties upon Jesus, because He cares for you. All to Jesus I surrender; all to him I freely give; I will forever love and trust him, in his presence in my daily life.
Surrendering to God is a living sacrifice that shows our availability to God and our complete trust in and obedience to Him in whatever he commands. Surrendering to God entails giving up our plans, trusting God to have His way in all aspects of our lives, and allowing Him to direct our steps and decisions.
Today, as I sit on the beach, watching the sunrise over the horizon of the beautiful deep blue Atlantic Ocean, I am reminded of how God led me to this verse: A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bone. — Proverb 17:22.
Laughter is a gift from God. Today, I laugh. I don’t worry about how I sound or if I snort. I simply laugh and smile. To be where I am today compared to where I was, laughter is what I crave and what I do; it soothes my soul. I laugh in joy as I’m with those who are with me today, my children, and our time together.
My dear Friends, I hope you take time today to laugh. Laugh at the smallest thing. Don’t let the enemy rob you of your joy, peace of mind, confidence, hope or spirit. Don’t let Satan distract you by making you waste your time and energy on the things that really don’t matter. Surrender your all to Him. Cast your anxieties upon Him. Lift your soul and laugh.
Laugh and Dance.
Jennifer Kalina 